Sure, we could observe March 17 by telling you all about chasing snakes out of Ireland and when the first St. Patrick’s Day parade was (1737, for the record), but instead, we’re going to give you what you really want: fun facts about Guinness. Amaze your friends and confound your enemies with your knowledge of Ireland’s most delicious export.
In 1759, genius businessman and brewer extraordinaire Arthur Guinness signed a 9000-year lease on St. James’ Gate brewery in Dublin. We’re just glad the Great Robotic Uprising will have taken place well before 10759, so no humans will ever have to live without sweet, sweet Guinness.
On an average day, humanity consumes 5.5 million pints of Guinness. On St. Patrick’s Day, it’s 13 million, which means we could be drinking a lot more Guinness on the other 364 days of the year. Step up your game, world.
The top five consumers of Guinness are, in order: Great Britain, Ireland, Nigeria, the US, and Cameroon. The only surprising thing about this list is that Blowfish HQ isn’t on it.
Back in the day, pregnant women, blood donors and post-op patients were given Guinness to fortify them. This is probably because after a few pints of the good stuff you’ll feel invincible.
So this St. Patrick's Day, get out there and win some bar debates with your newfound knowledge (appropriately, Guinness developed the eponymous Book of World Records in 1954, to help bartenders resolve drunken arguments over little-known facts). Sláinte!